What the Heck Are You “Sorry” For?!?

Good Afternooon!

It’s an absolutely gorgeous Spring day in Pennsylvania today. The weather has been holding up PERFECTLY! We had a few heavy rain showers yesterday – and I heard my first bout of thunder for the first time this year – but it’s all good! Our grass and our trees got a nice drink and there are birds chirping and Tulips blooming. Love it! Who complains about a nice steamy Spring shower with thunder rumbling, parallel to a warm breeze, ever-so-subtly behind a curtain of broken clouds? Not this girl!

Today is a rest day in the 80 Day Obsession, and my second of two days I have off from the bar each week. Yesterday’s workout was called Cardio Flow, and after having finished it I had sweat seemingly flowing out of my forehead and back! Holy cow. That was the hardest workout, in my opinion, by far. It’s a non-stop cardio circuit of different moves that are mostly named after awesome animals. Mules, frogs, ducks, bears, gorillas, flamingos, it goes on. Autumn Calabrese is messing with my brain wiring! Before yesterday I could hear someone say “duck walk” and I would picture a pond and furry little quackers! After yesterday, I think about “duck walks” in a whole new way. Like a four reps of squat lunges way….. It’s so exciting though! I did something amazing for my body yesterday, and that’s always a win! It’s all just becoming different. My thought process, my mindset, my ability to channel my energy. Everything, even after just one week, seems to be falling into place for me.

Yesterday I spent the ENTIRE day, I mean from 11:00AM to midnight, focused on my health + fitness. I started the morning making grocery lists, workout schedules paralleling my work schedules, and meal plans. Then it was workout time! The boys were away on a fishing trip up in New York this weekend, so I had he house to myself. Needless to say, “Work Bitch” by the one and only Britney Spears was bumpin’. After Autumn was done kicking my ass, I went to Wegmans, got all my shopping for the week done, and then came home and completed ALL of my meal prep! Yay!

I’m still new to meal prepping, and I’m probably terrible at it when compared to seasoned vets, but I made some pretty good (looking) food! Included and not limited to:

  • Cilantro Green Chili Steak Tacos
  • Turkey Burgers and Sweet Potato Bites
  • Autumn’s Turkey Breakfast Sausage Hash
  • Lemon Chicken and Grilled Asparagus
  • Homemade Hummus (F! Tahini btw, that shit’s a nightmare!)
  • Shakeology Peanut Butter Cups

***For recipes or help with portion fix meals, send me a message!***

In the moment, meal prepping feels like it takes forever. And it does take a long time. But when you’re all done, and you realize that you don’t have to spend any money or any time on what you eat for the rest of the week…. well that’s worth it all! I promise, if you’re new to it and feel clumsy/unsure/bored/frustrated/whatever, stick with it. You will get better, you will multi-task more, you will learn, and you will be SO happy the rest of your week. A HUGE part of maintaining clarity and peace of mind is simplifying your life. We make things too chaotic, too busy, too redundant, because we feel like, well “that’s just the way life is”. NO! That’s not the way life is! Life can be easier, better. We only have to make it so. Remember, there’s a difference between ‘simplistic’ and ‘simple’. You don’t need to live simplistically, just keep it simple! You are the captain of your own boat.

Now that we’re on the topic of personal development, I’m ready to get to our main story tonight (John Oliver voice). I want to talk – I say talk because I’m literally saying everything I’m writing out loud – but I want to talk to you about being sorry.

The word sorry, in my opinion, has become really misused and quite honestly undervalued by so many people. I had this thought a few weeks ago actually, because I know that I personally say the word “sorry” probably fifteen times a day. That’s not even an exaggeration. I would say a minimum of ten times every single day I say sorry in some fashion to someone. Whether I feel like I inconvenienced someone, got in their way, hurt their feelings, crossed a line, whatever the reason may be, I go right into autopilot apology mode. A lot of you probably are thinking, “Well what’s wrong with being sorry? That sounds like a good thing!”, and you aren’t wrong. It is a wonderful attribute to feel empathy and compassion for others, and to realize when you’ve done something to negatively impact another life in some way. However, at a certain point, you need to become selectively apologetic. I’m not asking you to not apologize when you feel like you’ve done wrong, that keeps you humble, that keeps you polite, that keeps you responsible. But before you go and immediately say sorry when you’re standing behind someone and they turn around suddenly and almost bump you, or when they messed up doing their job and you deliver the news that they need to fix the problem, or when they ask you a question and you need some time to think about the answer, ask yourself “what am I sorry for?”! Standing? Speaking? Thinking?

Imagine that saying sorry was like being in the sun without sunscreen. The word sorry, is an hour that you spend in the direct sun, and your result from the apology is the way your skin feels. So the first hour you spend in the sun, the first time you say sorry, you feel great! Rejuvenated! Happy! But what happens after you spend four hours in the sun? Five hours? Six hours? Your skin starts to burn. The very thing that made you feel free hours ago is starting to deplete your energy and cause you harm. Apologizing makes you vulnerable, much like the sun does to your skin, because, not only are you allowing yourself to accept a level of self-failure, you’re actually openly admitting that failure to someone. Not to mention, saying sorry is indirectly seeking forgiveness, which makes you feel a little bit small. It’s O.K. to feel small sometimes, that’s how we know how incredible it is to feel BIG. But, what you say is absorbed by your sub-conscious and it projects through your self-awareness.

The more that you say sorry for things that you do not owe an apology for the more you sacrifice your self-confidence and your self-value. This results in two things:

  1. You start to feel like you’re a burden, or you’re the problem. When you take fault for everything that doesn’t go 100% right, even if it’s not going wrong, you’re volunteering as tribute to take the heat and that’s going to wear you out. And
  2. You are empowering people who do not deserve empowerment in that moment, and they will take advantage of that and it will only hurt you more.

Once again, I’m not suggesting that you don’t apologize when you feel it’s necessary. Just be a little bit more selectively apologetic! The less you say sorry for insignificant things, the more it will mean when you do apologize, the more confidence you’ll convey and respect you’ll receive from the people who surround you, the more self-worth you’ll feel, and the more joy you’ll experience from getting true forgiveness and thus forgiving yourself for your mistakes. Being constantly apologetic doesn’t make you a better person, a nicer person. Being a good, caring, strong person makes you better. Taking responsibility for your mistakes and feeling really good about it, that will carry you a much further way!

Time to go practice what I preach,

Have an incredible Monday!

J and I are headed to the New Belgian Brewing party tonight in Cherry Hill, NJ! It’ll be a good test for me to not drink all the delicious beer. Something I truly enjoy doing!